ibegeorge:

Homemade Kit Kat Candy

Recipe: Homemade Kit Kat Candy Ingredients

• 1 Box Club crackers or Waverly’s (some kind of square…

View Post

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

• know what year it is
• be able to say your name a few times really fast

morristibbs:

IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE

izzetheking:

one time my aunt thought she was possessed by demons  for 9 months but it turns out she was really just pregnant with my cousin

vaspim2k13:

Taking selfies while sobbing just to see if you still look cute

basedgodniall:

*calls family member by mom’s request*

*silently prays it goes to voicemail*

osamah:

nothing screws up your friday like realizing it’s only wednesday

girouxissexy2898:

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

MOST WELL BEHAVED POULTRY

dark-shade:

want omg

Who invented the blow job?

Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”